I hate peer pressure. *side note, when I was little I always thought it was pure pressure. like the strong stuff. yeah.* It is something that takes most of us years to finally overcome post teens. So I don't know why in wedding planning so many peeps get taken back to that horrible place! Whether it's family requesting a specific wedding day, mother-in-laws strongly "suggesting" a good idea, or the baker at the cake-shop saying they don't "do" what you're requesting and you should settle for something else.
Why must we settle?! Well, yes, there is that whole budget thing, but budgets aside, this is about two people. That's it. And as long as you two are happy, give up the rest! You will never please everyone, even your fiance at times. It is time to start being strong about your preferences. Notice I said strong, not rude. You can still be classy and polite with everyone (yes, even your to be sister-in-law) without crossing the line. Then listen to what they say, genuinely consider their POV, and make a choice. If you decide you don't care, then awesome. But move on, don't let it dwell.
And if your cake-vendor won't do a lace pattern that you like because someone else down the street does it already as their signature and they can't handle being same-same, then great. Go to that other person. Because there are tons of bakers out there who will give you what you want. It is about what you want, not about their pride in not giving you something similar to the competition. They clearly don't need the business, so don't feel bad and cave in and say you don't "need" that lace. Go GET it. Say "thank you so much, we'll be in touch" and leave. *sidenote: classy peeps do follow-up and email that they are going in another direction. make your planner do it *
The last bit of overcoming peer-pressure and not agreeing with what mom/sis/vendor tells you, is that budget cannot rule every decision. I don't want you to throw it out the window, but you have to be realistic. Good service comes at a price. Just like with everything. So yes, you may get that amaze-balls bargain that defies all odds...but that saying "you get what you paid for" is around for a reason.
In the end, you're MARRIED! So that's pretty great. Don't let all the little things get under your skin, because it should be so much fun. If not, call me for a pep-talk.